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Bryce’s Inkubator – Issue #246

Bryce’s Inkubator – Issue #246

Bryce’s Inkubator – Issue #246
Notes from the Publisher of 365ink Magazine

I sit down tying to think of something funny to write about but all that comes to mind are things that grind my gears. So I’ll just moan about the inequities of life for a while and see how many can stay awake through it all.

First off, as I wrote about earlier, I sprained my ankle and broke my foot on Jul 1st. Healing is very slow and at this point, the real pain in the ass is my pain in the ass… on the good side. Walking crooked on the gimp-boot thingy has through my posture all outta whack and I’m doing all the work with my left leg. So now as my foot is almost healed, my “good” leg has so many aches and pains that I would tell any doctor that it’s worse than my “bad” leg. And don’t get me started on my knees. Additionally, you never know how much you take for granted the simple act of walking and carrying something in your hand at the same time. Crutches suck, period.

I got a new lawnmower. I four-wheel-drive, this-sucker-can-go-anywhere model. I got to use it once before I broke my foot. I don’t think I’ll get to use it at all they year. How is that fair?

I’d grumble about politics but no one would listen anyway. Mostly I’d grumble about people who grumble about politics, but… well, I’ve decided that when you argue with people who say things like “This guy is an idiot. The 14th amendment does not state that if you are born here you are a citizen. This is a falsehood.” Apparently quoting the very first line of the Amendment to them is not proof enough they they are wrong because they start talking about who it was intended for at the time. I thought maybe it was best not to bring up the Bible at that point.

There are two Wingfests this year… on the same day… on opposite sides of Dubuque (not even in Dubuque)… and I’m going to miss both. How is that justice? I’m just going to have to double down on Baconfest I guess.

It looks like my Raiders are going to suck as much this year as they have the last 15 years, so I can stop worrying about them right now and focus on crushing my wife and her workmates in their office pick-em league football pool. Hopefully the Hawkeyes bring something to get excited about.

I got a big load of plush Spongebob dolls into the Toys For Tots Warehouse this week. 900 of them to be precise. They’re pretty big. When the logistics company we work with at the Marine Toys For Tots Foundation called to arrange the 7 pallet delivery, they asked if I had any special instructions for the driver. I said, :Yes, team hip fully bunnies and rainbow farts.” She said, “why would I tell him that.” I said “Because in seven years not a single driver has ever read the special instructions on the manifest before arriving so why try.” She said, “well, we should anyway,” So I said, “Okay, tell them to call my cell phone 30 minutes prior to arrival because no one is at the warehouse and I need to come out at meet the truck to unload.”  So yesterday the driver calls. He said “Hey I’m here at this warehouse and there’s nobody here.” I smiled to myself before beating my head against the wall.

Summer is over… and I never got out on the river once. I never got to Codfish Hollow once. I only had sweet corm like three times. I really hope you did a little extra to cover for my pathetic excuse for a lazy summer. I blame the foot… which has also meant I have not been able to ride the motorcycle since June.

I should say something nice I guess before I go back under the bridge an await the next weary traveller. Irish Hooley was excellent this year. I believe the night it was up against Dubuque… And All That Jazz, whose band 10 of Soul was also super, both events had great crowds and were each huge successes. That’s a great relief and a tip of the hat to Dubuque for supporting live music like that. In both cases, charities will be the recipients of much love thanks to your support.

My band finally has a couple of shows in the calendar now that I can walk again. Check out the listing in the music pages of this issue. When all else fails and you’re in a crap mood, rockin’ peoples faces off always makes you feel better.